Context

And, I’m off. Botswana is behind me. This was my first time experiencing a trip like this. After a prolonged hiatus from life as you know it, it becomes important to realize your experience in the greater picture of the life you share with the people back home. People who are having just as many experiences as you have had while you’ve been away. Though there are no elephants or baobab trees in the stories people will have waiting for you when you return, they are just as excited to tell you their stories as you are to tell yours. Staying in Africa for four months may be the most awesome thing that has happened to you so far this year but it is not the most awesome thing that has happened to your friends and family back home. Are they happy that you went and had the opportunity to visit these amazing places and meet these amazing people? Of course they are! Just as you should be for them if the roles were switched.

The reason I bring this up is because of Scotty. That’s what we’ll call the friend I had that went off to England for six weeks and came back saying things like “when I lived in England” and “half-two” and “bullocks.” Bullocks, that's about how we felt regarding Scotty's trip after the third week of listening to his account of his experience, the way he would utter the syllables of his accounts like some poor Henry James heroine, thinking her naivety de-flowered because she spends one lousy Summer by some European lake like a daisy next to a cow-pie. Sorry, Scotty, but you made the mistake of thinking that your trip changed our lives as much as it changed yours; that we expected you to come back having become slightly British. We didn’t and it made you seem pretentious.

You see, the thing is you can always tell when someone’s being real, when their time abroad has really caused their dialect to change and when it hasn’t, when a sudden obsession with bangers and mash is due to an actual fit of bad taste and when it is due to feigned pomposity. Don’t be Scotty. Be honest and don’t front about what’s going on with you, and, very importantly, remember to be excited for those you know, even if they haven’t returned from six weeks in England.

This may sound cruel, and you may be wondering if I’m worried that “Scotty” is going to see this. No, not at all. Even if he can see through the super secret nickname I gave him, I’ve already expressed all this to him. I have a motto, one of many, and that is, “Friends don’t let other friends be shitty.” If you enjoy someone’s company, don’t let them be a wank. It’s not cool.

I’m writing this en route from Maun to Jossie. Hugo decided that he’s had enough of trying to find a job with all the other pilots in Maun, so he bought a plane ticket on my flight. He’s going to go back to George, SA and see about a teaching gig that he’s been offered. His flight to George isn’t until tomorrow and I’ve got quite a layover in Johannesburg. I wonder what trouble we’ll get ourselves into.